On May-September romance, aborted

The truth might be harsh,

But you had your law degree

Before I was born.

On blindsided, being

What?  I have voicemail?

Surprise! Messages from my

Now-dead grandmother.

Too much chicken of the sea?

This just in:

“Pop star-turned-country singer Jessica Simpson has heaped praise on her quarterback beau Tony Romo for sticking by her — because she constantly breaks wind in bed.

The blonde beauty credits her NFL star boyfriend as the grounding factor in her Hollywood lifestyle.

And the star admits it can be tough for Romo to stick with her, because she is frequently gassy.

She tells People.com, “Tony is a great quarterback, but he’s a better boyfriend. Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest.

“To be my man, you have to put up with a lot. I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC’s.”

On pick-me-ups

When I feel self-doubt,

I don my Harvard sweatpants.

Pathetic, but true.

On values

I know the diff’rence

Between consideration

And politeness.  You?

On perspective

There are some lessons

That may not be worth learning.

The price is too high.

On TV news

MSNBC,

I haven’t watched you in years.

Jet lag is a bitch.

On challenge

Driving India:

It’s like a video game

With no controllers.

On Singapore

I do love Changi

But this long-ass layover

Is driving me nuts.

On worry

It’s pretty brutal

To be so far away from

The people you love.