Classic.

This just in:
“‘American Idol’ host Ryan Seacrest is recovering after a shark bit him this weekend.
The TV personality was swimming in the ocean off California when the baby predator nibbled his foot.  He says, ‘I was bitten by a shark. … (There were) a thousand people in the ocean, and I get bit by the [...]

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We’ve come a long way, baby.

Or not.  This just in:
“Back in his glory as a pro wrestler, Hulk Hogan knew all about testosterone and how a man’s hormones can skyrocket once he gets in the ring.
His daughter, Brooke Hogan, seems to know all about the emotions of her own gender. And she thinks that even though men can be emotional, [...]

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Define “bad”

This just in:
“Naomi Campbell has slammed the media for continually portraying her in a negative way, insisting she isn’t a ‘bad person.’  The British supermodel, who is notorious for her angry outbursts, was recently fined and sentenced to 200 hours of community service after assaulting two police officers onboard a British Airways flight at London’s [...]

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Flavor Flav can start off the bidding

This just in:
“Brigitte Nielsen is undergoing plastic surgery on a new German reality TV show.
The model/actress will have a facelift, breast surgery and liposuction in the four-part series. The first episode aired on Sunday night, and was watched by 2.5 million viewers, who saw fat being sucked out of the 44-year-old’s hips.
Nielsen — the [...]

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Robot Barbie

This just in:
TOKYO (Reuters) – She is big-busted, petite, very friendly, and she runs on batteries.
A Japanese firm has produced a 38 cm (15 inch) tall robotic girlfriend that kisses on command, to go on sale in September for around $175, with a target market of lonely adult men.
Using her infrared sensors [...]

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An excellent use of tax dollars

This just in:
As a test of airport security, a customs officer planted marijuana in the side pocket of a random suitcase at Narita International Airport in Tokyo, the BBC reports (news.bbc.co.uk).
The test failed when the sniffer dogs were unable to detect the pot. But the officer could not remember which bag he had used.
Using an [...]

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I bet it would sell in San Francisco

The latest in brilliant r&d:
TOKYO (Reuters) – Lingerie maker Triumph International Japan Ltd unveiled its environmentally friendly, and green colored, “Solar Power Bra” on Wednesday in Tokyo which features a solar panel worn around the stomach.
The panel requires light to generate electricity and the concept bra will not be in stores anytime soon, said Triumph [...]

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Mmmmmm…bacon

This just in:
“New York neighbors of Bruce Willis’ new wine bar are roasting a pig named after the actor, to protest the ‘yuppie’ take-over of the city’s downtown neighborhoods.
Willis is the joint owner of the Bowery Wine Company, which opened in Manhattan’s East Village last month.  The venue is described as ‘upscale and loungy,’ but [...]

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You had me until the shopping

This just in:
TOKYO (Reuters) – Lovelorn staff at a Japanese marketing company can take paid time off after a bad break-up with a partner, with more “heartache leave” on offer as they get older.
Tokyo-based Hime & Company says heartache leave allows staff to cry themselves out and return to work refreshed. “Not everyone needs to [...]

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Now that I know there’s a contest…

This just in:
“‘Nappy-headed hos,’ the phrase that cost radio shock jock Don Imus his job and triggered a debate on how far free speech can go, was named on Thursday as the most egregious politically incorrect turn of phrase in 2007. Trailing behind that phrase in the annual survey by Global Language Monitor (www.LanguageMonitor.com), [...]

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