This just in:
Larry Ellison, ranked 12th on the Forbes 500 list with a net worth of $25 billion, has bagged a $3 million tax break after arguing that his flamboyant Japanese-style estate in Woodside is functionally obsolete.
The chief executive officer of software giant Oracle Corp. will be paid from San Mateo County property taxes collected [...]
Archive for March, 2008
Mommy, this toy is broken and I don’t want it anymore
Posted in Uncategorized on March 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The JCC can help with that
Posted in Word on March 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Opporjewnity.
-noun.
1. A gathering of any kind that affords single Jewish persons the opportunity to meet other single Jewish persons: I would go to the Chinese New Year party with you, but it’s not a very good opporjewnity.
2. A gathering of any kind at which Jews tend to congregate: I need more [...]
Now that I know there’s a contest…
Posted in In Other News..., Seriously? on March 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This just in:
“‘Nappy-headed hos,’ the phrase that cost radio shock jock Don Imus his job and triggered a debate on how far free speech can go, was named on Thursday as the most egregious politically incorrect turn of phrase in 2007. Trailing behind that phrase in the annual survey by Global Language Monitor (www.LanguageMonitor.com), [...]
C’mon, Ride(r) that Train
Posted in In Other News..., No Thank You, Unacceptable on March 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This just in:
“Reality TV star Kim Kardashian, best known for her role in a sex tape with her former boyfriend Ray J, is amazed by the attention her ample buttocks receive when she’s out in public.
And Kardashian is now considering taking out insurance on her voluptuous derriere.
‘The comparison to Jennifer Lopez. She’s my idol (so) [...]
Jacksassy
Posted in Word on March 23, 2008 | 2 Comments »
–adjective
1. A woman who says obnoxious things in a charming way: If he said that, he’d be a jackass, but she’s just jacksassy.
2. A woman who is sarcastic but gentle: If someone else made fun of me for crying during “Into the Wild,” I might be offended, but she’s so jacksassy that instead [...]
It all makes sense now
Posted in AWKWARD!, In Other News..., tagged gilligan's island, hitchhikers, marijuana on March 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This just in:
“Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on “Gilligan’s Island,” is serving six months’ unsupervised probation after allegedly being caught with marijuana in her car.
On Oct. 18, Teton County sheriff’s Deputy Joseph Gutierrez arrested Wells as she was driving home from a surprise birthday party that was held for her. According to the [...]
Maybe he should stick to offense…
Posted in AWKWARD!, In Other News..., Seriously? on March 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
…or at least hire an editor to review his comments.
Randy Moss, wide receiver of the Patriots, in response to allegations of domestic violence (a restraining order against him was later dropped):
”In my whole entire life of living 30 years, I’ve never put a hand on one woman, physically or in an angry manner,” Moss told [...]
CWN III
Posted in Traditions, tagged CWN on March 17, 2008 | 1 Comment »
BRILLIANT.
Save me a seat…
Posted in In Other News..., No Thank You, Traditions, tagged hell, seven, sin, Vatican on March 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
…in hell, that is. It’s going to be packed down there.
This just in:
“After 1,500 years the Vatican has brought the seven deadly sins up to date by adding seven new ones for the age of globalisation.
Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican body which oversees confessions and plenary indulgences, … said [...]
Arrr…
Posted in Riddle Me This, tagged villain, eyepatch, designer dog, accessory on March 11, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
At the last CWN (Wayne’s World/Waterworld, for those who keep track), I began to ponder the use of the eyepatch as an “accessory of evil” (used along with long-tailed cats, prominent cheekbones, and an overall gaunt appearance– think Cruella DeVille and Scar). I cite:
My question is this: with all the ridiculous accessories [...]
