On surprises

Video answer?
I should have put on a shirt.
Skype, you win again.

Drink a Vitamin Water and Stop Whining

This just in:

Diane Keaton was left red-faced on the set of new movie “Morning Glory” when she was forced to rap with 50 Cent – branding the experience “humiliating.”

The “Annie Hall” star plays a newswoman on a struggling breakfast TV show in the upcoming picture and one scene sees her character perform with the hip-hop star in a bid to boost ratings.

Keaton hated filming the “humiliating” sequence and admits her teenage daughter will never forgive her for the embarrassing stunt.

She tells the Associated Press, “I do have a daughter who is 15, and that made it even more humiliating because she thought I was just such an idiot. And she wasn’t wrong. That’s my rap debut and that’s the end of me as a rapper. I won’t be working with Kanye, or Jay-Z. They have not called.”

An ode to transportation, in five parts- AKA you just can’t win

One: Ascension

Waiting for the bus
Makes me want to kill myself.
Fucking MUNI sucks.

Two: Experience

Oh dirty thirty-
Is that swine flu over there?
This ride might kill me.

Three: Descent

Thank God that’s over.
Wait- swine flu incubation?
Guess we’ll wait and see…

Four: Alternative One

Searching for parking
Almost make me miss MUNI.
Everything just blows.

Five: Alternative Two

Now I’m out on foot
Toward Embarcadero.
Fucking hills fuck fuck!!!!!

CWN VII

IM of the Week

me: omg
just sent you an e
running to the bathroom but bbiaf!
Sent at 10:22 AM on Thursday

me: hey
omg
wrong window
hahahaha
hahahahhahaha
i am so awesome
i did not send you an email
but hi anyway
Sent at 10:26 AM on Thursday

asfilner: wow
my computer broadcast all this to 20 people
awesome
Sent at 10:34 AM on Thursday

The best part is that all 20 ppl now know exactly how long it takes me to pee. Awesome.

CWN VI

On joy, pure

Shredder, you so fine.

I want to shred all the time.

Shred, shred, shred, shred, shred!!!

Siamese Friends

-noun.

1.  Two or more platonic persons the separate existence of which remains purely theoretical and wholly unsubstantiated.

2. Two or more platonic persons who appear corporeally bound by virtue of their constant proximity to each other, particularly in social settings.

3.  A pair of platonic persons the public appearance of solely one of which inspires an immediate double-take and surreptitious hunt for the other.

*thx to E and M for the inspiration

Mistleho

-noun.

1. One who creates a personal circulation pattern at a party designed to maximize mistletoe exposure time.

2. One who takes advantage of the mistletoe to engage in a full-blown public makeout session.

3. Absolutely no one known to the authors of this blog.

*thx to J for the inspiration and to N for everything

On mistletoe, the peril of

Middle of the room-

Thought I was out of the zone!

I need a stiff drink.